My grandfather's funeral was this last Friday, May 20th 2011.
There was a viewing the day before, I took my girls to see him. Before we left I explained to them what it would be like. I explained that its only his body that is here, his spirit has gone to heave and he is there with Mattie, throwing balls and playing with her. He loved dogs. He loved a lot of things. He enjoyed music, camping, fishing, anything to do with the outdoors. He loved baking, especially at Christmas time. He loved and cared dearly for his family.
Lillian did very well at the viewing, Ashlee was a mess. Even though we did not spend much time with him, she knew that he loved her and she was so broken up to see him there. She did much better the day of the funeral. After the service was over they opened his casket for those that wanted to see him one last time. Ashlee could not seem to get enough of seeing him. She touched his cheek, stroked his beard and she even kissed her fingers and placed them on his forehead. She talked to him and told him that she loved him. I wish I had a picture of Ashlee and him together while he was alive! Lillian placed a picture of her, Ashlee and Mia on his chest so he would have something to always remember them. All the grandkids signed a t-shirt for him. Ashlee drew a little picture, the shirt was also passed around for others to write on as well and it was placed next to him before they closed the casket for the last time.
He looked very nice, he was not dressed up all fancy like, he was not that kind of man. He wore what you see in the picture above. His favorite hat, shirt and a pair of jeans. He was buried with his fishing pole and favorite cooking fork that he, himself formed to the bowl that he used every time he baked something. He will be able to fish for big trout and bake goodies for all those in heaven and I know they will enjoy it!
He looked very peaceful, just like he was sleeping and it even seemed he had a slight smile. He is no longer in any pain, he isn't suffering from Cancer any longer. He is happy and healthy and enjoying heaven.
It was weird that as soon as his casket was laid in the ground and they were placing dirt over it, a slight, cool breeze came along as if it was him saying, "I'm still with you"
He had told his grandkids that when they see butterflies to know that was him.
There were many kind words said of him at the service. He was well loved by everyone and he in turn loved everyone. I only regret that I did not make it over to visit him more so that my children could see the love he had for them and kindness he would show.
He requested this to be read at his funeral. It sounds very much like him:
Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, not minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasures or forgotten will pass to someone else. Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed to important will fade away. It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end. It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant. So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what your bought, but what you built, not what you got but what you gave. What will matter is not your success but your significance. What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught. What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example. What will matter is not your competence but your character. What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone. What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you. What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by who and for what. Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but choice. Chose to live a life that matters.
How true is that!? It makes so much sense!
I love you grandpa and even tho I am sad you are gone, I know you are happy and you are healthy. I know you will be waiting on the other side for me with open arms!
"I'm Free"
Don't grieve for me, now I'm free. I am following the path God laid for me. I took his hand when I heard Him call, I turned my back and I left it all
I could not stay another day, to laugh to love to work or play. Tasks left undone must stay that way. I found my peace at the close of day.
If my parting has left a void, then fill it with remembered joy, A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss, oh yes, these things I too, will miss
Be not burdened with times of sorrow, I wish for you the joys of tomorrow. My life's been full, I've savored much. Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief. Don't lengthen it with undue grief. Lift up your heats and share with me, God loved me so; he set me free
Grandpa would have wanted us to feel this way. It is only fitting that this was quoted at the service.
Here is the link to the Chapel of the Roses web page for him.
Millard Kincaid
April 2nd 1931-May 14th 2011
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