Last night was an awful night for sleep! Mia has her days and nights mixed up. She sleep well during the day 3-4 hour stretches, wakes up to eat and goes back to sleep. Sometimes she will stay awake for maybe 15 minutes after eating but then is right back to sleep. Last night she was up every hour after about 3:30am to eat, then back to sleep for about an hour and then up again wanting to eat. I would sit there in bed with her propped up on my fluffiest, firmest pillow in the football hold nursing her, falling asleep! Then she would fall asleep and as I went to lay her down, she would either wake back up and want to eat some more or she would lay quietly for a short period of time and THEN want back up. I tired giving her a pacifier (pas, as we call it around here) and sometimes that would work and I'd get a half hour of sleep in, other times it didn't matter. Finally, I smacked my husband on the arm and said "its your turn, I need sleep too" he had been laying there snoring loud as a bullhorn right through everything! I hated him last night (not really it was the lack of sleep talking). He took her and and I rolled over and went to sleep. She was fine, I knew she had been fed, had a clean diaper on, etc. About an hour later she was crying again, didn't want her pas, wasn't gassy...I knew she was wanting to eat again...at least I got about an hours worth of sleep. Finally around 6am she went to sleep and was out! I laid my head down on my pillow, even though I don't remember it, I know I did cuz I woke up with it there lol. Woke up to the alarm clock (7am) and the kids coming into our room to wake us up. James got up with them, got them fed and dressed and ready to go...well Lillian anyway, she is the only one besides Dom who NEEDS to be dressed to go out of the house. James took them to school, I had to get up to make sure Ashlee didn't get into anything she wasn't suppose to. So last night...lets not talk about that anymore lol. I am practically falling asleep as I write this!
Today I had to take Mia in to get her Billy Ruben (or whatever/how ever its spelled) tested again to see if things had improved since yesterday. I had to take her to the hospital which is approx. a half hour away. I get there and they did not know I was coming, had no lab paperwork...etc etc. I waited for approx. 20min for them to tell me there were finally ready. I had 2 young children and an infant, things were a little difficult. Finally they took me back, poked her head and took what they needed for the test. We had to wait there for the results just in case she needed the light therapy or the light blanket to take home. Got all that finished and done and we were out of there about 2:30pm...I had gotten there just shortly after 12pm!
Upon getting home, I had to feed these "starving" children and get them all situated and then they were up and down up and down. THEN I had to go pick up James from work for his lunch so he could take the car back and I wouldn't have to go back and get him at 9:30/10pm! Needless to say I am pooped out (may not sound like I did a lot but I did) I also did a load of the baby's laundry. And as I sit here typing this out I am falling asleep! Think I'll go nap while Mia is, should be able to get at least an hour of sleep, which will help me later on tonight when she is awake and just wanting to eat.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Mia Grace is here!!
We had scheduled an induction due to the fact that I was already 5cm dilated and still a week away from my due date. We were a little worried that since the hospital was about a half hour away, I would end up going into labor and delivering in the car on the way!
I arrived at the hospital at 10am and got my IV, paperwork and all that good stuff out of the way. The Dr. showed up around 11am and broke my water (no pitocin) Things went quick from there and Mia arrived at 2:19pm...about 3.5 hrs after the Dr. had broke my water! A very quick labor and delivery! The Dr. almost went home to watch some TV while he was waiting for me to dilate all the way (he lives about 100 yards from the hospital). Good thing he didn't!! I decided to get an epidural this time. The Dr. wasn't sure that we would have time for one and if we did it may not have time to take effect before delivery. However, the gal got in pretty quick and got the epidural going, she did have to do it twice as she couldn't get the first one in. As soon as she got it in I felt my left leg get all warm and tingly. It took a little longer for the right side to go but once it did, my legs were dead weight and I couldn't feel anymore pain. All I could feel was the pressure from Mia coming down and I could feel when someone touched my leg or stomach...just no pain! I don't know why I didn't get epidurals with either of my first two! When it was time to push I could feel some pain but it wasn't near as bad as if I hadn't had the epidural.
Mia came out very quiet, not much crying or anything, but she was totally fine. They got her wiped down and brought her over to me to try and nurse. It took her a little bit, but she eventually latched on. She is a good eater (a typical Day family member lol). She is a pretty good sleeper, but I think she is getting her days and nights mixed up. I was up night before last about every half hour to hour nursing her (that next day was a ROUGH one!) and last night I was up at 3:30 and again at 4:30 for nursing and didn't get to go back to sleep till about 8am.
We spent a couple days in the hospital (even tho we could have gone home the next day) they knew I had a couple small children at home and said if I wanted I could stay another day just to get some extra rest! James and I got a special breakfast the day we went home with some sparkling apple cider. We were able to order what we wanted and they brought it to us on a fancy cart and everything. James got steak and eggs (it was a huge piece of steak too!) and I had a sausage and bacon omelet. They both came with a bunch of other breakfast goodies.
It has been nearly 4 years since I have had a little tiny baby to take care of and even tho things come pretty instinctual and natural, its a new journey, I'm sure there will be more to blog about!!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Almost there!! Phew!
Well it looks like Saturday at 10am I will be going into the hospital to be induced. I have been 5cm dilated for almost a week. We live nearly 30 minutes away from the hospital and my labors seems to go pretty quick, especially since I am always dilated nearly half-way before going in! Dr. is figuring by 5pm we should have a baby...whether it will be a Mia or a Donavan...we still don't know. Its kinda of exciting to not know, though a little stressful at the same time...its hard to find gender neutral clothing and other baby items, most of them are either BOY or GIRL!
We decided to go with induction to avoid the risk or me going into labor and having a baby in the car on the way to the hospital! I don't want that! I wanna be there IN the hospital with the nurses and Dr's there! I want an epidural this time as well...I went all natural with my first two, and I want to experience a more painless labor and birth with this one. I have been watching You Tube videos or women going through labor and delivery with epidurals and it looks so much more relaxing and peaceful!
I have been dealing with a lot of stress over the last several days. We found out that our 17th year old has been lying to us for nearly 7-8mos now about several various things...some of them VERY BIG things. Now I know kids lie and its not unusual or anything but our trust in her has been totally broken. Whatever trust we had in her has been thrown out the window and is completely lost..she will have to start all over again. She is a very responsible kid when it comes to school and work. She does very well in school and tries very hard, she has a great work ethic, just like her father. But when it comes to other certain things...I think she takes her brain out of her head, sets it aside and then puts it back in later. I have been VERY, deeply hurt at the event of these lies and cannot even talk to her right now. I don't mind the little lies and such, its these big ones that we are finding out about. Things that we pretty much knew and confronted her about and she was so strongly adamant about the "fact" that we were wrong and she was telling the "truth" about these things. I think the fact that she has been lying to us for so long about the same issues (and more and more seems to be leaking out each day) is the thing that REALLY hurts me. I feel very disrespected and very hurt, especially after she knew how strongly I felt about certain things. I am trying to get over it, but its not something that is going to go away quickly. I will have a VERY VERY difficult time believing most anything that comes out of her mouth for a long time. Right now I am just not really talking to her. That may seems wrong to you, but believe me, its the best thing for now...if I was to talk to her, it would be a mess and a big yelling match and I don't want that. I know it won't accomplish anything and just make things worse. My husband hates it that I am not speaking to her, but like I said, it would just make things worse, I am THAT deeply hurt. I don't think I have ever been so hurt in my life.
Don't get me wrong, she is a good kid! She has a good head on her shoulders...most of the time. She has goals for her life (that we don't want to see get screwed up, and the path she is starting to make is going to lead to that!) she has colleges looking into her, sending her information about their programs and schooling because she does so well in school. She has a job and she works hard. She doesn't do drugs, smoke, drink...there are so many things that could be worse. We just don't understand why she feels the need to lie to us about so many things. We have always told our kids that we want to have an open, honest relationship with them. We have never lied to them, if they ask about something, we tell them the truth...whats the point in lying? It won't help them, won't get them anywhere. Lying only will screw things up for you...sure you may be able to get away with it for awhile, but eventually its going to catch up with you and things are going to be bad. Especially if you have had to lie to cover up ANOTHER lie and another and another...there is just no point. We have always told our children that eventually...even if its a year or so down the road, we are going to find out, its best just to be up front and truthful, life will be so much easier for them if they are.
I didn't really want to blog about all that, it just kinda came out. It does help me a little to talk about it though. I don't really have any thing else to talk about. All that drama has kind of consumed my life the last few days. I will have something else to take the place of that pretty soon though! We are looking forward to meeting the new member of our family! That should be the thing that I am consumed with...I have been pretty tired the last few days, lots of pains (headaches, backaches, hip pain, etc etc) Thankfully my mother is here to help out with the kids and such and my hubby has been a great help as well! I am greatful they are here to help! My little girls are getting excited to see their new brother or sister, they want a sister though, so if its a boy hopefully they won't be too disappointed. But with my husbands history/luck it will be a girl. Either way, we honestly don't care, as long as everything goes well and the baby is healthy, that's all that matters!
Wow...I just realized how long this post was! Sometimes I just can't stop lol!
We decided to go with induction to avoid the risk or me going into labor and having a baby in the car on the way to the hospital! I don't want that! I wanna be there IN the hospital with the nurses and Dr's there! I want an epidural this time as well...I went all natural with my first two, and I want to experience a more painless labor and birth with this one. I have been watching You Tube videos or women going through labor and delivery with epidurals and it looks so much more relaxing and peaceful!
I have been dealing with a lot of stress over the last several days. We found out that our 17th year old has been lying to us for nearly 7-8mos now about several various things...some of them VERY BIG things. Now I know kids lie and its not unusual or anything but our trust in her has been totally broken. Whatever trust we had in her has been thrown out the window and is completely lost..she will have to start all over again. She is a very responsible kid when it comes to school and work. She does very well in school and tries very hard, she has a great work ethic, just like her father. But when it comes to other certain things...I think she takes her brain out of her head, sets it aside and then puts it back in later. I have been VERY, deeply hurt at the event of these lies and cannot even talk to her right now. I don't mind the little lies and such, its these big ones that we are finding out about. Things that we pretty much knew and confronted her about and she was so strongly adamant about the "fact" that we were wrong and she was telling the "truth" about these things. I think the fact that she has been lying to us for so long about the same issues (and more and more seems to be leaking out each day) is the thing that REALLY hurts me. I feel very disrespected and very hurt, especially after she knew how strongly I felt about certain things. I am trying to get over it, but its not something that is going to go away quickly. I will have a VERY VERY difficult time believing most anything that comes out of her mouth for a long time. Right now I am just not really talking to her. That may seems wrong to you, but believe me, its the best thing for now...if I was to talk to her, it would be a mess and a big yelling match and I don't want that. I know it won't accomplish anything and just make things worse. My husband hates it that I am not speaking to her, but like I said, it would just make things worse, I am THAT deeply hurt. I don't think I have ever been so hurt in my life.
Don't get me wrong, she is a good kid! She has a good head on her shoulders...most of the time. She has goals for her life (that we don't want to see get screwed up, and the path she is starting to make is going to lead to that!) she has colleges looking into her, sending her information about their programs and schooling because she does so well in school. She has a job and she works hard. She doesn't do drugs, smoke, drink...there are so many things that could be worse. We just don't understand why she feels the need to lie to us about so many things. We have always told our kids that we want to have an open, honest relationship with them. We have never lied to them, if they ask about something, we tell them the truth...whats the point in lying? It won't help them, won't get them anywhere. Lying only will screw things up for you...sure you may be able to get away with it for awhile, but eventually its going to catch up with you and things are going to be bad. Especially if you have had to lie to cover up ANOTHER lie and another and another...there is just no point. We have always told our children that eventually...even if its a year or so down the road, we are going to find out, its best just to be up front and truthful, life will be so much easier for them if they are.
I didn't really want to blog about all that, it just kinda came out. It does help me a little to talk about it though. I don't really have any thing else to talk about. All that drama has kind of consumed my life the last few days. I will have something else to take the place of that pretty soon though! We are looking forward to meeting the new member of our family! That should be the thing that I am consumed with...I have been pretty tired the last few days, lots of pains (headaches, backaches, hip pain, etc etc) Thankfully my mother is here to help out with the kids and such and my hubby has been a great help as well! I am greatful they are here to help! My little girls are getting excited to see their new brother or sister, they want a sister though, so if its a boy hopefully they won't be too disappointed. But with my husbands history/luck it will be a girl. Either way, we honestly don't care, as long as everything goes well and the baby is healthy, that's all that matters!
Wow...I just realized how long this post was! Sometimes I just can't stop lol!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
STRESS!!!!!! And yummy dinner (haha)
Oh my!! I am sooo stressed today!
I went to my Dr/ apt at 11:00 this morning, no change in anything so I'm not headed to the hospital today, unless something happens later this evening/middle of the night. I was so hopping for different news! I am SO uncomfortable and feel miserable!
My mom and sister are coming this weekend for Dom's birthday, Dom wants her friend Corbin to come and he needs to stay the night. His mom's friend is supposed to be bringing him Saturday evening and then picking him up Sunday afternoon. I am really not comfortable with him staying the night in my house. I do not like him, he is rude to him mom and very disrespectful toward her. She has put up with a lot from him (he has a long history I will not get into) and he is very ungrateful for everything she has done for him and put up with him. I do not trust him, and I do not like the way he tries to control who Dom talks to. He gets all upset and mad at her when he hears that she has been talking to or is going to talk to or hanging out with other guys. Then it upsets her, makes her mad and in return she is snotty and rude toward us. I understand they are good friends. Dom has done a lot to help him through a lot of things (and I think he should respect her more for that) and that she wants him to be here for her birthday. Another person might come this weekend as well, we are still unsure of that. She had plans to go to dinner with just her and a few of her friends here, but they all bailed on her and changed plans so I feel bad! Another thing I feel bad about is this baby possibly taking over her spotlight for her birthday. That is the last thing I want! She didn't get/do much for her last birthday and it was kind of a big disappointment.
If this boy stays the night I have to figure out a place for HIM to sleep, my mom and sister and possibly another person! Our house is not huge! There are not many places for extra people to sleep! Then I gotta worry about making sure to feed all these extra people too. I am TOTALLY stressed out! I have been having contractions off and on all day, a lot of pressure in my lower abdomen, constantly peeing, headaches, backaches, hip pain...you name it! My blood pressure is probably through the roof right now and that is not good for me or the baby! I feel really bad that this whole baby thing is affecting Dom and her birthday! Its affecting it A LOT! I know she is upset about it, but she also understands and the same time. I just don't know what to do! I want her to have a good birthday and have her friends able to come and everything but at the same time I gotta make sure that baby and I are ok and safe. I feel like giving up! I just wanna go crawl in bed and stay there! I just wish I knew more about this baby stuff and could plan better. There is just too much going on for me this weekend to deal with. Maybe it seems like not such a big deal to anyone else, but when your here dealing with it and all the drama that comes along with it...it IS a lot to deal with.
On top of all this my younger girls have been in my face all day. It seems like every 5 minutes they think they need something. They both think they are STARVING and cannot wait for dinner. They had their after school snack and it was large enough to hold them over till dinner, but they seem to think not! Then they start arguing with each other, picking on each other, bugging me for everything. I LOVE my girls to death, but today is NOT a good day, not with all this other stuff for me to worry/ think about. All I have heard all day is whining and complaining from them (and the oldest lol).
On a good note, the dinner I made was really yummy!...here is the link
http://www.quick-and-easy-dinner.com/chicken-bundles.html
I added a couple tablespoons of sour cream and I think I used more parsley that what was required, but I think it added a little extra flavor. I also added a bit of garlic salt and I used onion powder since I didn't have any onion. I also added some shredded cheddar cheese and topped it with cheese too. Super easy to make and QUICK. I think next time I'll make a double batch!
So there is my pity party, complaining for the day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and we can get things figured out and I won't be so stressed! I don't like being crabby and when I get stressed, I get crabby.
I went to my Dr/ apt at 11:00 this morning, no change in anything so I'm not headed to the hospital today, unless something happens later this evening/middle of the night. I was so hopping for different news! I am SO uncomfortable and feel miserable!
My mom and sister are coming this weekend for Dom's birthday, Dom wants her friend Corbin to come and he needs to stay the night. His mom's friend is supposed to be bringing him Saturday evening and then picking him up Sunday afternoon. I am really not comfortable with him staying the night in my house. I do not like him, he is rude to him mom and very disrespectful toward her. She has put up with a lot from him (he has a long history I will not get into) and he is very ungrateful for everything she has done for him and put up with him. I do not trust him, and I do not like the way he tries to control who Dom talks to. He gets all upset and mad at her when he hears that she has been talking to or is going to talk to or hanging out with other guys. Then it upsets her, makes her mad and in return she is snotty and rude toward us. I understand they are good friends. Dom has done a lot to help him through a lot of things (and I think he should respect her more for that) and that she wants him to be here for her birthday. Another person might come this weekend as well, we are still unsure of that. She had plans to go to dinner with just her and a few of her friends here, but they all bailed on her and changed plans so I feel bad! Another thing I feel bad about is this baby possibly taking over her spotlight for her birthday. That is the last thing I want! She didn't get/do much for her last birthday and it was kind of a big disappointment.
If this boy stays the night I have to figure out a place for HIM to sleep, my mom and sister and possibly another person! Our house is not huge! There are not many places for extra people to sleep! Then I gotta worry about making sure to feed all these extra people too. I am TOTALLY stressed out! I have been having contractions off and on all day, a lot of pressure in my lower abdomen, constantly peeing, headaches, backaches, hip pain...you name it! My blood pressure is probably through the roof right now and that is not good for me or the baby! I feel really bad that this whole baby thing is affecting Dom and her birthday! Its affecting it A LOT! I know she is upset about it, but she also understands and the same time. I just don't know what to do! I want her to have a good birthday and have her friends able to come and everything but at the same time I gotta make sure that baby and I are ok and safe. I feel like giving up! I just wanna go crawl in bed and stay there! I just wish I knew more about this baby stuff and could plan better. There is just too much going on for me this weekend to deal with. Maybe it seems like not such a big deal to anyone else, but when your here dealing with it and all the drama that comes along with it...it IS a lot to deal with.
On top of all this my younger girls have been in my face all day. It seems like every 5 minutes they think they need something. They both think they are STARVING and cannot wait for dinner. They had their after school snack and it was large enough to hold them over till dinner, but they seem to think not! Then they start arguing with each other, picking on each other, bugging me for everything. I LOVE my girls to death, but today is NOT a good day, not with all this other stuff for me to worry/ think about. All I have heard all day is whining and complaining from them (and the oldest lol).
On a good note, the dinner I made was really yummy!...here is the link
http://www.quick-and-easy-dinner.com/chicken-bundles.html
I added a couple tablespoons of sour cream and I think I used more parsley that what was required, but I think it added a little extra flavor. I also added a bit of garlic salt and I used onion powder since I didn't have any onion. I also added some shredded cheddar cheese and topped it with cheese too. Super easy to make and QUICK. I think next time I'll make a double batch!
So there is my pity party, complaining for the day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and we can get things figured out and I won't be so stressed! I don't like being crabby and when I get stressed, I get crabby.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Bubble wrap...the new dress up clothes for kids
Finally went grocery shopping last night after my husband got off work. Being 37 weeks pregnant I told him just to deal with me moving slow and don't say a word! He did pretty good and we finished in about an hour. I was worn out by the time we got home so him and my oldest daughter unloaded and put everything away!
Yesterday was very uneventful. I have been to tired to do much and when I do have the energy I am out of breath or just plain uncomfortable so I have been taking it pretty easy and just doing a few things here and there. No deep cleaning has been done in my house for a few weeks now. Just light duty stuff. Makes me feel kinda gross and dirty. It will be nice when I can get back to the "norm" and do the things I used to do with much more ease!
I had a Dr. apt. today. I gained 3-4Lbs!! Which scares me a little lol! I think that is a lot for ONE week! BUT I did lose weight in the beginning of this pregnancy before gaining any, and then in the middle I lost a few pounds as well...so I think I have only gained about 10Lbs all together, maybe a little more. I found out that I am about 4cm dilated, which was a surprise. So Dr. wants to see me again Wed. to check if I have progressed any more and if I have (between5-7cm) then I'm going in! If I start having any regular contractions...he said come in! My labors have always gone pretty quick, hopefully it will be that way with this one too (AFTER I get to the hospital of course! its about a 30min drive to get there!). Watch, now that I say that this one will take forever lol!
I just made the most fattening (but yummy) homemade mac and cheese for dinner! It includes a whole can of canned milk, 6 eggs, and 4 cheeses...Smoked cheddar, sharp cheddar and mozzarella, along with Velveeta (hey...that one is 2%milk make lol). Gunna be pretty heavy, but it will be yummy! Hey, I only make it every once in a GREAT while!
So here is the end of my 2nd blog...sort of a combination of yesterday and today!
God bless you all!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
My first blog
I am not much of a writer, we'll have to see how this goes. I thought it would be a neat idea for me to start a blog and wirte down daily adventures, issues, joys, etc. Almost like a diary I guess, but without having to endure writers cramp. Hopefully my children will allow me the time to sit down daily or at least every few days and write.
First a little about me...
I am 29 and live on the southern Oregon coast. I love it on the coast! The smell of the ocean and the sound of waves crashing entices me. I think I was ment to live on or very near the coast.
I have 4 children (and 1 on the way due Feb 25th 2011!) The 2 oldest are my step children. Shelby is 15 and Dominique will be 17 this Feb. I have raised them for 10 years along with my husband. Shelby now lives with her mother. I first met them when I was about 20 years old and have been there ever since. I was the constant mother figure in their lives for quite a long time. I see them as my own children, want the best for them, hurt when they hurt, worry daily about them...normal things a biological mother would feel for her children. My 2 biological children are Lillian 5 and Ashlee 3.
It was hard on me when Shelby decided to move to her mother's. I almost felt like I wasn't good enough for her as mother and had let her down...didn't do a good enough job. I had been there through all the things her mother hadn't been there for. She had her tonsils removed and I was there, she wanted me, I was there for the falls, scrapes, bruises, bullies, school trips...I thought that I had done a good enough job as a "mom". I knew she had always had a connection with her mom, and I never tried to REPLACE her mom, that is something that cannot be taken away, ever. Still...it hurt terribly, after all the years I had been there and done everything in my power that I could do for her. Maybe that is selfish of me, and I AM getting better!
My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 6! Doesn't seem like it has been that long! We have had our good times and we have had a lot of rough times. Seems like the rough ones out number the good, mostly on the financial field. We are a good couple though, we think a lot alike, have the same views on raising children. I helped bring him to Christ. He is a loving man and a great dad to his kids. We are pretty compatable. Of course we don't always agree on everything and we have our arguments...usually I am the one to stay mad, he gets over it quickly lol!
So I guess this is the end of my first blog. Just a little background on me, I'm sure more will come out in later blogs. I'm sure there will be ugly things and beautiful things that will occur in this blog, hopefully nothing will bore you too much!
First a little about me...
I am 29 and live on the southern Oregon coast. I love it on the coast! The smell of the ocean and the sound of waves crashing entices me. I think I was ment to live on or very near the coast.
I have 4 children (and 1 on the way due Feb 25th 2011!) The 2 oldest are my step children. Shelby is 15 and Dominique will be 17 this Feb. I have raised them for 10 years along with my husband. Shelby now lives with her mother. I first met them when I was about 20 years old and have been there ever since. I was the constant mother figure in their lives for quite a long time. I see them as my own children, want the best for them, hurt when they hurt, worry daily about them...normal things a biological mother would feel for her children. My 2 biological children are Lillian 5 and Ashlee 3.
It was hard on me when Shelby decided to move to her mother's. I almost felt like I wasn't good enough for her as mother and had let her down...didn't do a good enough job. I had been there through all the things her mother hadn't been there for. She had her tonsils removed and I was there, she wanted me, I was there for the falls, scrapes, bruises, bullies, school trips...I thought that I had done a good enough job as a "mom". I knew she had always had a connection with her mom, and I never tried to REPLACE her mom, that is something that cannot be taken away, ever. Still...it hurt terribly, after all the years I had been there and done everything in my power that I could do for her. Maybe that is selfish of me, and I AM getting better!
My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 6! Doesn't seem like it has been that long! We have had our good times and we have had a lot of rough times. Seems like the rough ones out number the good, mostly on the financial field. We are a good couple though, we think a lot alike, have the same views on raising children. I helped bring him to Christ. He is a loving man and a great dad to his kids. We are pretty compatable. Of course we don't always agree on everything and we have our arguments...usually I am the one to stay mad, he gets over it quickly lol!
So I guess this is the end of my first blog. Just a little background on me, I'm sure more will come out in later blogs. I'm sure there will be ugly things and beautiful things that will occur in this blog, hopefully nothing will bore you too much!
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