Well it looks like Saturday at 10am I will be going into the hospital to be induced. I have been 5cm dilated for almost a week. We live nearly 30 minutes away from the hospital and my labors seems to go pretty quick, especially since I am always dilated nearly half-way before going in! Dr. is figuring by 5pm we should have a baby...whether it will be a Mia or a Donavan...we still don't know. Its kinda of exciting to not know, though a little stressful at the same time...its hard to find gender neutral clothing and other baby items, most of them are either BOY or GIRL!
We decided to go with induction to avoid the risk or me going into labor and having a baby in the car on the way to the hospital! I don't want that! I wanna be there IN the hospital with the nurses and Dr's there! I want an epidural this time as well...I went all natural with my first two, and I want to experience a more painless labor and birth with this one. I have been watching You Tube videos or women going through labor and delivery with epidurals and it looks so much more relaxing and peaceful!
I have been dealing with a lot of stress over the last several days. We found out that our 17th year old has been lying to us for nearly 7-8mos now about several various things...some of them VERY BIG things. Now I know kids lie and its not unusual or anything but our trust in her has been totally broken. Whatever trust we had in her has been thrown out the window and is completely lost..she will have to start all over again. She is a very responsible kid when it comes to school and work. She does very well in school and tries very hard, she has a great work ethic, just like her father. But when it comes to other certain things...I think she takes her brain out of her head, sets it aside and then puts it back in later. I have been VERY, deeply hurt at the event of these lies and cannot even talk to her right now. I don't mind the little lies and such, its these big ones that we are finding out about. Things that we pretty much knew and confronted her about and she was so strongly adamant about the "fact" that we were wrong and she was telling the "truth" about these things. I think the fact that she has been lying to us for so long about the same issues (and more and more seems to be leaking out each day) is the thing that REALLY hurts me. I feel very disrespected and very hurt, especially after she knew how strongly I felt about certain things. I am trying to get over it, but its not something that is going to go away quickly. I will have a VERY VERY difficult time believing most anything that comes out of her mouth for a long time. Right now I am just not really talking to her. That may seems wrong to you, but believe me, its the best thing for now...if I was to talk to her, it would be a mess and a big yelling match and I don't want that. I know it won't accomplish anything and just make things worse. My husband hates it that I am not speaking to her, but like I said, it would just make things worse, I am THAT deeply hurt. I don't think I have ever been so hurt in my life.
Don't get me wrong, she is a good kid! She has a good head on her shoulders...most of the time. She has goals for her life (that we don't want to see get screwed up, and the path she is starting to make is going to lead to that!) she has colleges looking into her, sending her information about their programs and schooling because she does so well in school. She has a job and she works hard. She doesn't do drugs, smoke, drink...there are so many things that could be worse. We just don't understand why she feels the need to lie to us about so many things. We have always told our kids that we want to have an open, honest relationship with them. We have never lied to them, if they ask about something, we tell them the truth...whats the point in lying? It won't help them, won't get them anywhere. Lying only will screw things up for you...sure you may be able to get away with it for awhile, but eventually its going to catch up with you and things are going to be bad. Especially if you have had to lie to cover up ANOTHER lie and another and another...there is just no point. We have always told our children that eventually...even if its a year or so down the road, we are going to find out, its best just to be up front and truthful, life will be so much easier for them if they are.
I didn't really want to blog about all that, it just kinda came out. It does help me a little to talk about it though. I don't really have any thing else to talk about. All that drama has kind of consumed my life the last few days. I will have something else to take the place of that pretty soon though! We are looking forward to meeting the new member of our family! That should be the thing that I am consumed with...I have been pretty tired the last few days, lots of pains (headaches, backaches, hip pain, etc etc) Thankfully my mother is here to help out with the kids and such and my hubby has been a great help as well! I am greatful they are here to help! My little girls are getting excited to see their new brother or sister, they want a sister though, so if its a boy hopefully they won't be too disappointed. But with my husbands history/luck it will be a girl. Either way, we honestly don't care, as long as everything goes well and the baby is healthy, that's all that matters!
Wow...I just realized how long this post was! Sometimes I just can't stop lol!
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